Books, Life

films swooning (and Wodehouse)

I’ve just finished a long week of work. My brain is a little frazzled and glitchy, but that’s okay. I’m sure I’ll survive. (BUT WILL EVERYONE ELSE? HUH? HUH?!)

musick

My place of work is less than ten minutes away, and on the way there, I find myself listening to a few songs of Imagine Dragons – chiefly, Bleeding Out.

I’ve got the lyrics mostly memorised. Which means I can sing every other line. I’m dreadfully pleased with myself.

(I’m not entirely sure what the song is about – someone bleeding out? Probably. Maybe?)

benchingarden

reading

I’ve finished Ukridge (NOT pronounced Uk-bridge. Learn to read, Ness) by P.G Wodehouse. I have to say three things about this book:

  1. Ukridge is infuriating in that you want to hate him, you know you ought to hate him … but you can’t quite bring yourself to say that he is the most loathesomely selfish character in the history of ever.
  2. He has little redeeming qualities, other than being a creation of Wodehouse, and so therefore, inherently funny.
  3. Corky needed a romance, and a medal for being such a good friend – for valiantly attempting to intercede with Ukridge’s aunt on his behalf, for putting up with Cecil, and yes – even and especially Ukridge himself.

Cecil, by the way, is a young boy who wants to see the sites of London. And by ‘sites’ I mean ‘the sites where all the gory murders have taken place’.

Then, again, Cecil’s was not one of those personalities which become more attractive with familiarity. I should say at a venture that those who liked him best were those who saw the least of him.

Wodehouse always comes out with these one liners that catch you off guard and induce great merriment:

“”I’m not saying that Cecil doesn’t take a bit of knowing. He’s the sort of boy you have to be patient with and bring out, if you know what I mean. I think he grows on you.”

“If he ever grows on me, I’ll have him amputated.”

watching

Recently, I watched Last Knights and honestly … this movie. Why? Why was it made? When was it set? What was its point?

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“Why’d you put us in this film?!!”

I just … they took all the cultures and put them in a blender, added tons of epic high fantasy stills from DeviantArt, grabbed Morgan Freeman and gave him Wise Man Dialogue and *boom!* a movie. And then – just to make it that more interesting, they shoved in so many fade to blacks, it’s like the movie is constantly swooning.

Oh, and the hero? No reason to like him. No reason to sympathise with him. GIVE ME REASONS TO CARE MOVIE! But they gave me none. Zilch. Nada. They made him irredeemable and then *haha* just pretending.

But no. OOOHHH NOOOO!! THAT IS NOT HOW YOU DO IT MOVIE! THAT IS NOT HOW YOU DO IT! No. There is a line, movie. You just nuked it. It’s glass now. GLASS!

And the final shot? THE FINAL SHOT?!! He closes his eyes … and everyone sighs with relief. The movie is over. The ending wasn’t so-

BUT THEN!! His eyes flash open and it’s like the character is like:

OH SHOOT! THE OVEN! I FORGOT TO TURN IT OFF!

BAM!

*fade to black*

Books, I think I just rambled, Life, On Writing, Uncategorized

how to avoid distractions and write

Disclaimer: I do not promise the following to be logical. I wrote it with an empty tea-cup beside me. Its slogan is Live, Laugh, and Love but how does one do that without tea? More importantly, how does one write a coherent blog post without this elixir?


I come home from work and survey my domain with a critical eye. I decide to tidy and then write. Neither happens. I’ve decided to give up that first step. Yes, my room suffers, but I’m sure that it’s a good move. I’ve now a more peaceful mind and more time to devote to my writing. However, distractions are many and my resistance is weak.

things i class as distractions:

  1. Reading
  2. Cleaning (mostly when I need to write) (this cleaning doesn’t extend to my own bedroom)
  3. Stoopid Things On The Internet
  4. Writing this post
  5. Work (so I’m not a starving distracted writer)

By the time Christmas week arrived, I was convinced that I – and I alone – had invented long shifts that had to be worked day after day after day. To my disgust, the pity party had to be cancelled. It turns out that this is the norm of the working world.

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My pity party rudely halted, I could at least use the situation as an excuse. It was masterful and goes as follows …

my masterful reason for not writing:

Work requires time to unwind from. At least one or three hours. By the time I am unwound, I need to sleep. To go to work again. So therefore, in no way could I possibly write a single word. There isn’t time.

I, for one, could see no logical holes in my reasoning. (I’m certain you can’t either.) However, using this logic, I am forced to face three hard choices in order for my writing to flourish:

  1. I must give up work and write in blissful hunger and happiness (sans car, savings, clothing, and books)
  2. I must drastically decrease my working hours and budget (less use of car, less savings, and fewer books)
  3. I must find a happy medium between working and writing (sans unwinding time)

Right now, I’m taking option three. Writing is a part of me. Like my tailbone or unibrow. (Ha. I kid. I don’t have a unibrow. Or do I?!!!) And I am willing to make sacrifices for it.

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cue inspirational gif.

So, my ‘unwinding’ time will cease to be and I will be an adult and write my novels and sort my bookshelves and go to work and do all sorts of responsible things.

Q: So, how DO you avoid distractions and write? (Because, honestly, the above is no answer at all. In fact, I’d say you waffled a fair bit.)

A: I’m sure that priorities and list making and Pinterest boards make up part of the answer, but – to be brief – I think the ultimate answer is thus:

Sacrifices. Must. Be. Made.

If you want to keep your unibrow writing alive and ticking, you have to make sacrifices; give up going to the cinema or haunting bookshops or reading those reviews. These things have their place. But so does your writing. So sacrifice. It will be worth it.

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side note: remember to maintain relationships with humans. those are important too.

But, what do I know? I’m just a writer writing poorly concealed non-advice advice posts to solidify good intentions. And to be a beacon of help and hope to the rest of the writing world, of course. *cough*

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happy new year, my friends!